A Rememberance

When I was a child, I dint have barbies, or video games, or cell phones, I dint even go out to play, but neither watched tv, I had heaps of books of every sort, I would sit and read them , then live my own fairy tales in my imagination, I went out to parks in the evenings and have a great time on swings, always racing against my friends to go higher and higher. I believed in magic, destiny and fairies.

I had a hard time if I ever threw tantrums, I had to learn to share whatever I got. Back then, My parents were my Angels, I was a Princess, being watched over by them and my l'il brothers were my my sweetie pies.

I did not have EVERYTHING, but I loved WHATEVER I had. Life was not a bed of roses, but it was still magically wonderful. I truly appreciate the way I was brought up and I really miss my childhood :)

Great Expectations

So the first point is that I'm not talking about the novel with the same title. I am here to talk about my own expectations. As I stated earlier that owing to our stupid human nature, we expect somethings from some people but maybe it proves a bit too much for them. But why do we expect??? Simple!!! We expect from certain people because we would do that much for them. We don't have expectations from any jolly fellow walking on the roads. But sometimes our little expectations may become heavy loads for some people so they throw them off. Of course I forgot that expectations are the cause of sorrow in this world. Gautama Buddha said so. But he is a dead man now and we seldom forget what he taught us.

Anybody who reads this might want to ask me why so much about expectations??? Because it happens to people. Now there is a message for those who crumpled my expectations and if they are alert enough, they will catch it. If they think of my expectations as a burden, fine, I expect nothing of them from now on as I expect nothing from a stranger. But I will have to repay their favor, as this is what I have been taught to do.  So these certain people must be assured that from now on I am going to treat all that they expect of me as I treat the dirt under my shoes.

WHY??????

There are so many things in life for which we want reasons but one that's troubling me right now is that why does it happen when we want to let go of something or someone we love the harder we try, the more difficult it becomes?? For instance I right now want to give up on my craze about chocolates and sweets but every time I try to ignore my craving of them, it seems as if they are attracting me to themselves with double force.

This also applies to relationships, particularly romantic ones. It is terribly hard to forget about someone you love truly from your heart because they just don't remain somebody to you, they become a part of yourself and it must feel awful to strip off a part of yourself from within you. Ohh! how much it must pain......... but again the point is it takes a big deal of time and effort  to release your heart from the captivation of that person's influence and each time you make an attempt and you feel even more affection and you begin to think .......why?? Why is it happening to me? Where does my fault lie?? Now if I am willing to move ahead then why do I feel chained to you??

I guess some questions remain unanswered in life. I think this is one of those questions,  but I'm still seeking for an answer. May God help me in my mission :P and my friends if you want to pour in some answers of your own......... you are most welcome to do so :)

Signing Off for today,
Bhavna :)

UNNAMED

7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MYSELF:-

1. I am soooo lazy that i ditch dinner at times so that i can snuggle in my bed.

2. I sleep too much. The previous one implies this one or the case is vice versa i dont know but somehow there seems to be a connection between the two.

3. I laugh too much and too loud and on top of that I sometimes laugh at odd times and the people around me think I have gone crazy. What they don't know is that my mind is wandering every second of the day and I sometimes remember a funny incident from the past and laugh when everyone expects me to be serious.

4. I have a stupid habit of staring at myself in the mirror for long periods of time and I lack an explanation for that. No wait I have one...... maybe I'm constantly searching for some traces of beauty in me :P

5. I CAN'T study when I need to do it most.

6. I can't live without music!!! even when I am studying I am either humming or singing if I dont have the facility of listening to music.

7. I get the weirdest of dreams when I'm asleep. Though none of them are depressing or can be classified as nightmares but its strange to see myself involved in a movie like dream. Maybe these dreams are a by product of my imagination but they are so beautiful that I hate to wake up. hmmmm look at this This may be another reason to my extreme sleeping capability.

BUT  inspite of all this, I LOVE MYSELF IMMENSELY :P :) :D  and there must be something so good in me that will hide my imperfections :)

Now why did I write all this who knows? maybe I'm currently under a stage of self criticism and if so is the case, God help me to snap out of it as soon as possible....... as I already said I LOVE MYSELF and I dont like to criticize myself :P 

just like that

hmmm so I had quite forgotten about my blog until today when one of my friends started her own :P so I thought maybe I should also drop by to make an entry into mine :P


what to write as of now............. I don't have anything specific in mind and I'm also a little tired,  of course naturally because its 4'o clock in the morning but yes I remember Jane Eyre very well  as I have been reading it the whole day. Most likely something from the novel is going to accompany me in my dreams. :) 


And speaking of dreams........... well I have all sorts of dreams (please don't be confused , here I strictly refer to the dreams that I see when in sleep ). Sometimes I'm a princess, sometimes a vampire :P, sometimes I'm swept off to some far away place still unknown to the human race and I struggle for my survival there. Seldom I see people from my real life but involved in activities and situations contrastingly different from what they are really. I feel sleep drawing a curtain over my eyes now................ so someday, sometime I'll be back to give you a glimpse into  one of my dreams.


My good morning to everybody who is going to arise from his/her bed soon.............. and a sweet goodbye.


P.S. This entry may not be sufficient, or good or whatever but don't blame me because I have already given an account of the conditions in which it is written :P

My weekends at IIT B

When I stepped in the first year..........I decided that I will study wholeheartedly even on weekends but little did I realise that it was the understatement of the year.......

The first weekend I behaved very decently and studied (although there wasn't much to study :P). The second weekend came and I was frustrated so I watched a movie....... This was the beginning and then I completely lost control afterwards.

Now my weekend starts with the friday night and I complete the log backs of.......well my TV serials. Tired after watching 5 episodes..........I go to bed and rise at 11:30 a.m. the next day..(just in time to get ready and have lunch). Then I try to study but I fail in my mission in just 1 hour or so because I get impatient to be there on facebook. After spending some time on facebook I head straight to mess for tiffin. After that I try studying once more and this time very determined but i finally give up after some time........then I enter the fully freaked out mode.......and the results.....are chitchatting in the corridors, playing loud music in my room(and singing along as well)

Sunday arrives the next day and finally it dawns upon me that I had to do some work for physics lab and revise the week's notes.So on sunday evenings my wingies and other hostelites witness me as a bundle of worries and questions and obviously they try their best to avoid me :)

In this way I spend my weekends and this is the general routine except for pre-midsems or pre-quiz weekends.


P.S. I know very well that this is just rubbish and a useless blog so i warn my friends that it would be better for you if you dare not leave comments saying so.